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You Know You're a Can Collector If...

4/20/2015

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Well, Hubs and I took in our second big load of ditch-picked cans this week, more than doubling our earnings for this year (see the sidebar for this year's total). We were talking to someone at church and mentioned returning the cans. The other guy said, "So I'm not the only one that does that!" Turns out there are a lot of people that enjoy recycling roadside cans, from the casual can collector to the hard-core fills-up-bike-trailer almost-looks-homeless guy.

You know you're a can collector if you can relate:

1. Brand Loyalty. Drinker or not, you know every brand and label out there: Budweiser, Milwaukee's Best, Bud Light, Busch, Beer-Rita, Twisted Tea, Smirnoff, Redd's Apple Ale, Angry Orchard, Blue Moon, Heineken, Samuel Adams... and on it goes. You learn to look for certain brands in certain areas. And what's more, you form an opinion of these drinks based solely upon their packaging. 

2. Automobile Regret. You feel a bit wistful just leaving it there, but it's not quite worth backing up, getting out and tossing it in the back seat. Just sometimes...

3. The Providential Can. When you get off your bike to pick up a can, and there happens to be another one nearby. Or when you stop to get a drink/identify a plant/ admire the scenery and there- RIGHT where you stopped- is a bottle. Almost as if someone put it there just for you.

4. Bonus Items. Golf balls, highlighters, medicinal plants, hand warmers, bird eggs, CDs. 

5. Gatorade Annoyance. And water bottles and Peace Tea, and other non-refundable beverages that litter the roadside. How's a water bottle different than a Pepsi bottle, anyway?

6. Crushed Cans. WHY? I know it feels manly to crush a can with your two bare hands, but why not crush a non-refundable water bottle? At least leave the barcode readable.

7. Cans and Money are Interchangeable. You start thinking in terms of, "How many cans does this cost?" and when asked how many you normally find every week, you respond "About three dollars."

Are you a ditch-diving roadside recycler? Can you relate?

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    Bethany

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